The 2013 Castagno Rant

Good Lord 2013… I don’t even know what to do with that… I think I started these sometime around ’99, but it seems like yesterday and after reading a few of the older ones I am stunned at how far we have all come and yet there are a multitude of experiences and routines apparently on a perpetual cycle repeating year after year as if time makes no imprint on them. Interesting thing about that, at least for me, is the fantasy that there is all the time we will ever need for whatever we need it for… I mean what’s the rush after all? Anyway you didn’t stop by for some convoluted conversation about the passing of time or the timelessness of the human experience… you are here for the RANT and so you shall have it my friends…

I have noticed over the past few years that there hasn’t been any actual ranting per se` in these so I have decided to open with a short collection of my favorite rants… oh yes you get bullet points this year…

• It just irritates me when you order a coffee and have already left the drive thru only to notice that the snarky high school drop out forgot to give you the stirry thing… I mean how hard is it to remember this?

• How everyone feels entitled to use the finger while driving… if you’re not an old “husky” Italian guy driving a Mercedes you have not earned it, just nod politely and understand I have the right of way… always

• I am traveling a lot these days and let me just tell you lady that shit is not fitting in the overhead, no really I don’t care how hard you shove it in there it’s not going to fit, and no I can’t help you with it

• The obvious elimination of proofreaders employed by Internet news sites… how hard is it to use spell check anyway? And none of us care about Kanye, the Kardashians, Miley, and whatever the hell twerking is… it’s not news…

• And maybe my favorite all time irritation… freakin’ skinny short guys working in the Big & Tall store… I mean God bless you I am sure you’re a wonderful person, but you can’t possibly understand, and don’t go getting all bent out of shape about it either when I call you a hobbit… just saying

Ahhh I feel better already, now on to the good stuff! As you are aware on occasion I have been known to indulge in a bit of shall we say sarcasm, and my dear wife has been quick to point out that some people, namely my children, could possibly get their feelings hurt by the sarcastic turn of a phrase. However, I raised these hooligans and I am pretty sure they give as good as they get and besides anyone willing to raise a finger and wish you a Happy F’ing Holidays is pretty much asking for it anyway. Now just so none of them feels singled out as the “first” one I’ll happily start with myself, I have been on the road for most of this year working a consulting gig in central PA and although I have met and worked with some excellent folks up here I have to tell you this place is a culinary wasteland, I mean I’m actually losing weight! Never mind that I noticed pretty much immediately that the Three Mile Island nuclear plant is right next to the airport, disconcerting is the word you’re searching for.  Last week the hotel clerk greeted me with “welcome home Mr. Castagno” what a smartass. Of course that was the same week the girl at the Hertz counter told me the convertible Mustang was great for picking up girls… I mean seriously is there anyway to rationalize that? Ill take the Camry thank you very much. I have found that not everyone from Boston is a…, well you know, in fact I now have some good friends from there, but they still talk funny and in a small bit of trivia for you; it turns out the height of the Green Monster is exactly ten feet higher than number of World Championships the Yanks have won (27) hmm…  Finally, getting some writing done and although I don’t see an end in sight I am having a good time and all is well with Joe. 

Well Christopher stills works for me and is hoping my consulting lasts another couple of years at least. Apparently I am a much more lenient boss from half a dozen states away. I am glad to see him working diligently though, I mean every young person should be willing to put in 60+ hours a week… got to pay your dues. He and his lovely wife bought their first home this year, cute little place with a pool. I find debt makes him work harder so I was fully supportive, besides it’s got a pool and you know how I love a pool. Tara is still teaching school, she must be blessed with the patience of Job, cause I know I couldn’t do it day in and day out. They are like an old married couple, I think Tammy and I will be like that one day, oh wait we are. 

Cory made the big move this year leaving his beach bum existence and moving out to Seattle where he is pursuing a Masters in Urban Planning & Design at the University of Washington. Proud of him to say the least, and scored his own scholarships and funding… yep you guessed it the boy protected my wallet! However, I have been out twice to visit and he has an unhealthy obsession with walking everywhere, now normally this wouldn’t seem like a big deal however, you can’t go anywhere in Seattle without walking up a hill, not cool but a great town. We also made a quick trek up to Vancouver BC, great trip, but I think he may have put my name on the Canadian watch list, I guess if you have to be detained Canada is the place to do it, but that’s another story. I know he has Mr. Kitty to keep him company but I am sure he can’t wait for his girl Crystal to make her way out there. 

I was going to save Kyle for last, but we seem to have inadvertently fallen into a pattern here. Kyle continues to work at the local high school mentoring autistic students, they love him and he is excellent with them. Of course we are on year two of the temporarily moving home saga, its obvious we have different interpretations of what “a little while” means. He has a few really good friends that probably should be paying rent as much as they are camped at the house, yes Everett I mean you.  He continues to search for his next stop, a place he can pursue his music and art, while figuring the rest out. I am sure he will find what he is looking for, but I wish he would quit playing that U2 tune over and over again… Bottom line is Kyle always knows where home is… even if Tammy does turn that room into an exercise studio. 

I guess that leaves the princess, and what do you say about the princess. The young woman continues to amaze and frustrate me, as is her way. Carrying about 18 or so hours a semester and doing great, combined with this crazy idea that she wants to get married. Talk about conflicted, hey that’s a legit southern phrase, leave it alone. So my brilliant idea was you can’t get married until you graduate, well at this rate I am already trying to negotiate an extension. As if that wasn’t bad enough she now wants to get married in Italy, how I am supposed say no to that? Daughters! Well I love this one even if she is a smart aleck and wants to marry some tatted up Christian rocker hobbit (see above). Sorry Jon, but that’s all you get this year, tell some stories around the fire pit and I’ll see what I can do for 2014. 

Tammy and I have decided to just grow old together, which is great or I would have to start renting that damn Mustang every week. Seriously though the older our kids get and the bigger our family seems to grow the more time it leaves for us and it turns out we have been really good friends for a long time. I don’t usually incorporate anything I have already written or posted somewhere else, but I’ll make an exception this time since it seems to speak to this realization. Anyway I found myself watching a lot of the Kennedy assassination documentaries last month and penned some thoughts. 

So I find myself trying to sort through how I felt about all of it… I feel inundated with the 24-hour news cycle, the intransigence of our current political environment, and what appears to be a growing apathy in our younger generations. It’s at this moment I catch a glimpse of Jackie at the top of the stairs as they begin to disembark at Love Field, there is that infectious smile, the grace, the style and maybe just a hint of wistfulness and I wonder what’s the lesson there?  Did they make time for each other that morning, share a cup of coffee, a laugh, a tender moment, anything? Was it all noise, schedules, and rushing to do this and get there? And for that matter how many of us spend our lives the same way scurrying about as if we really did have all the time in the world? It would only be a matter of minutes really, a fleeting moment in a lifetime before all those possibilities would be extinguished. Its impossible to know of course what small talk they shared, did he squeeze her hand as he waved to the crowd, did they share a final look… There are no real answers I guess and maybe the small questions of one couple’s intimate relationship doesn’t compare with the bigger issues of the day, but then again doesn’t it all really just come down to the ones we love and how we choose to treat each other? 

Well I guess in the end you get the “rant” and the convoluted conversation about the timelessness of the human experience; have a wonderful holiday my friends and invest wisely in those relationships that feed your spirit and being, they are all that really matter after all.