2015 CASTAGNO RANT

Wow, I just re-read last year’s RANT, that was awesome, now I am bit intimidated, by myself no less… but I’ll try to keep you somewhat entertained. As most of you know this isn’t a true chronological retrospective on the year and I also tend to meander through the things that either had an impact on me, or for some reason I think are entertaining. In the early days, as one would expect, these rants would develop around the antics of my loveable offspring over the course of a year. In fact the very first rant was inspired by those insipid holiday letters people feel the need to send letting you know how great there life is and all the marvelous things their children accomplished over the course of a year. Tammy and I would look at each other and just shake our heads, “how were we ever going to be good enough to keep up?” And then it struck me, what a bunch of nonsense, we were going to send a real letter out telling everyone the sarcastic, unvarnished truth of what raising kids was like, the wins and losses, the struggles and triumphs, you know the “real” stuff. I have been writing that holiday letter for about 20 years, we no longer deal with the day to day of raising young children but even as adults they are no less loveable and there hasn’t been any significant reduction in antics. However, they have somewhat “aged out” of the annual holiday letter format, in fact I am surprised that at least one of them hasn’t started their own 2^ndgeneration rant. 

So in an effort to remain relevant I turned to that historical tome we all now use to document the turns of our daily lives… yes Face Book, and before I get started what is up with the constantly posting other peoples quotes and writings? Does no one out there have anything of their own they would like to say? Anyway, I was looking back through some pictures from the last year apparently I can sum this up pretty quickly: I turned 50, I bitched incessantly about pretty much everything, spent a great deal of time in coffee drive-thrus, I cooked a hellacious amount of really great looking food, and I have a new granddaughter that has pretty much dominated the 2^nd half of my year. I am going to save the new kid for later cause well just cause I feel like it actually. So I had to brew a cup of hot tea (I must be getting old) and ponder things a bit, cause there had to be more to the last year than just that. Turns out quite a bit more happened. 

So as is usual in life you spend your days at some self defined level of comfort punctuated by a series of highs and lows or at least it seems that way. We started the year off with an opportunity to review the ICU of one of our local hospitals when my dearest Tammy had an episode of DKA or diabetic ketoacidosis which I am not going to take the time to define here, you can Google it if you need details, but in short dehydration led to an imbalance in her electrolytes and welcome to the ER. So you must be thinking well nothing light hearted and uplifting about this… and well you’re right about that. However, once past the scare and under treatment we had an opportunity to see a health system really working on patient engagement, it was refreshing, and apparently they are letting 15 year olds be nurses these days, cause everyone taking care of her seemed like a really young person… which of course in the hospital is just the reminder I need — uh you’re OLD. Fun fact number two: all of the pharma you need is significantly cheaper in Canada, this according to the website her physician provided. All I can say is thank God for halfway decent insurance coverage because that bill was obscene proving that reform may be underway but there is still plenty to do.

It was shortly after this that I started a new consulting gig in of all places South Florida… amazing I have been consulting for about eleven years or so since “leaving” WebMD and I always seem to end up somewhere cold in the dead of winter! Not this time though, hooked up with some fine folks from Alabama needing help within a couple of hours of home, doesn’t get better than that. Of course there were a few side trips to rural Georgia, but I’m not going to let that, “steal my joy,” as Tammy likes to say. Besides who doesn’t enjoy hearing, “yer not from round here boy are ya?” from your friendly local policeman every once in awhile… of course followed by that classic southern phrase, “y’all come back now, ya hear.” Hell they probably told General Sherman the same thing, they didn’t mean it then and they still don’t mean it.  Now before all my rebel friends get riled up, you know I love ya, hell I even make a mean biscuit and my girl is Carolina through and through so settle down now. 

In the midst of all this fun we headed out to Seattle to celebrate Cory’s graduation from the University of Washington. Apparently a Masters Degree in Urban Planning and Design means he can plan out cities and such now… That young man is a smart one.  We had a great trip though even if it seemed much too short. It was an opportunity to catch up with Kyle as well, and spend some much-needed time with our West coast boys. Besides you know how I love walking up and up (there is no down in Seattle) all those Seattle hills. This trip was also proof that loyalty programs actually do have some value, I have been using Hertz for years and have more points than I can count, well I check in and they are all out of cars, turns out it was graduation weekend and they may have slightly underestimated demand. Short version, manager comes out, ignores all the well dressed genteel travelers that have made the mistake of booking through some third party and hands me the keys to the biggest damn Jaguar I have ever seen sitting out front. This is all I have he says, bring it back in one piece, not bad for $39 bucks a day and needless to say we drove the hell out of that car, I mean it was a rental after all…

So it was about this time that my daughter’s fiancé lets us know he is postponing the wedding so he can go back to college for a degree in Behavioral Healthcare, (I hope this isn’t in hopes of me behaving) anyway the upcoming wedding date has been pushed back till December 2016 post graduation. So I’m like “see you doubters, prayer does work”… oh lighten up I am kidding.  Anyway definitely left enough time for some pre-marital counseling, no not for them for me, apparently I’m not quite ready for this yet even with the delay, and you should see the list of restrictions on what I can say during my “Father of the Bride” toast, geez no fun at all. More on this later, well probably not, I don’t want to get too sidetracked. 

So we are headed into July and its hot, well I know it’s Florida of course it’s hot, and I am feeling bad for my daughter-in-law cause well, no real polite way to say this, she has put on a bit of weight. Hey she is pregnant it happens calm down already. The whole family is on pins and needles this is the first of the next generation of Castagnos, a big deal to say the least. We welcomed Liliana on July 29^th and maybe this is just grandpa speaking, but she is perfect. Now of course Christopher and Tara are excellent parents, they have the most modern technology at their disposal, you can Google just about any baby question you have and get an experts advice. Definitely a different world from when we brought our twin bundles home. I am of course immediately “breaking” most of the “rules” that have been established for today’s parents and I am admittedly gleeful about it. The “Beard” is not amused… but then dear old dad has to remind him to lighten up he turned out just fine and no real lasting harm came to any of his siblings either. This is also about the time I started posting almost daily pics of me and the kiddo to FB, apparently they don’t limit the number of perfect baby pictures you can post.

I am halfway through my year already and I realize that there is just no way to capture the granular detail of our lives in a way that is consumable in just a few pages and even though I understand it I still chafe a bit at the limitation. For instance I have met some really cool people this year adding them to my circle, I also had the opportunity to have a monthly column published in a local magazine, and I even purchased a new really nice Ford pickup. Funny thing about those last two, the publisher of the mag pulled my column when I refused to do “fluff” pieces on our little town and Tammy seems to have kidnapped my truck!  Some things haven’t changed though; I still have huge issues with the Starbucks drive thru – well at least the idiots in front of me and there seems to be no abatement in the texting and driving epidemic. There is no way to cover it all so I am left to pick and choose what amounts to a short list of hi-lites, I hope you’ll forgive the missing pieces.  

I am blaming my daughter, but she and I are coaching an under 14 girls competitive soccer team this fall. Ahh memories of yesteryear, the days when she was the player and dear old dad was the coach. Well let me just tell you there is nothing nostalgic about fifteen 13-year-old girls three times a week! Holy shit, I now completely understand how people convince themselves to have another child, it wasn’t that bad was it?  Umm yes it was… but okay I am being a bit dramatic, they are a good bunch of kids, not good soccer players mind you, but good kids and Kiersta is really an excellent coach and I certainly couldn’t do it without her.  I really enjoy the time with her, and it’s a chance to teach another group of kids this great game, so I guess it’s worth the pain in the ass – grumpy old man I know.  

Why is it that when we head into the fall time seems to pick up speed and we crash headlong into the end of the year?  This October was my fiftieth and let me just say thank God my dear wife actually finally listened to me and did not do a blow out party. I have been anti birthday party since my youngest memories, not sure why just never really enjoyed the fanfare of it all, and certainly didn’t want to see any black balloons or ridiculous gravestone signs in my yard this year. Besides fifty is year of the “–oscopy” and there is just no positive way to spin that.  Topping it off my baby girl (ok she is 21) moved into her own place that weekend.  It’s a really cool apartment and she has made it just beautiful, but I admittedly miss her. I am sure there are many positives about being empty nesters, but this old man has some adjusting to do first. Oh and let’s not forget those bastards at AARP… yeah my invitation arrived perfectly on my birthday, way to rub it in. So go right ahead… grumpy old man, its okay I am embracing it. 

Thanksgiving followed shortly after bringing our Seattle boys home, plus Kyle’s sweet girlfriend Danielle, a Lacrosse playing imp that makes him smile, and that makes me smile. Thanksgiving always means the family picture, I think this year’s was pretty good, but it’s going to be tough to top the “mafia family” pic from last year, but no worries we are already working on something special for next year. So now with Christmas just around the corner we are all gathered together again, and I wonder what does the future hold for these precious people I love so much, for it seems just moments ago I asked a freckle faced country girl to marry me and we started down this path, I can look back and see the years stretch behind me, but it’s what’s beyond the next curve that really piques my curiosity. I look forward to seeing all of you somewhere along the way, may you have the very best of what you wish for in this coming year.