For My Big Sis…

It’s Thursday evening and I am reflecting on the project I just finished in Phoenix, my flight is going to be late getting into Dallas… which means another night away from home. Modern technology allows my phone to be connected even at 30,000 feet – I’m watching the sun set through the window of 6A when I receive the message that my older sister has died…

There’s no positive way to get news like this, no way that makes it easier to absorb, so I watch the sun set and whisper goodbye – I foolishly hope she was at peace, as if somehow that makes it better, changes something… 

When we lose people the tradition is to polish their lives up, make them brighter – better than they probably were – I won’t do that with my sister. Her life is who she was and I loved her no matter the season. 

Julianna was seven years older than me, for as far back as I can remember she was “Lani” a leftover from the days before I could pronounce her name. She was my big sister – introduced me to rock and roll, David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Rolling Stones, and the best of the seventies. She taught me about girls and nursed me through my first teenage heartbreak. When I moved to Virginia after our mother died she helped me get settled in a new home and city. It was her couch I slept on when my young marriage was falling apart and she encouraged me to work it out. Life took us in different directions and our relationship was reduced to holiday and birthday phone calls, promises to get together and reminiscing about the “old days”, but she never stopped being my big sister. 

They say not to speak ill of the dead… whatever that means, life is messy, complicated and … her journey was long, but I maintain worth the trip in the end. She explored life – the good, bad and the ugly if that’s not too cliché – a national level equestrian rider, a debutante, she eloped with a Naval officer at eighteen, lived free and hard all over the world, divorced and then started a new life. She loved the simple elegance of a vase of flowers, a properly set table, and the energy of a live concert. She was a mother of an autistic son and champion of autistic children’s rights, a business woman, artist, drug addict, but more than anything Lani was my big sister… 

Goodbye sis, I love you and I miss you… turns out none of the mess mattered in the end… 

Remember to hug the ones easy to love a bit closer and the ones hard to love even closer than that… You see when it’s done all you’ll have is the memories and as sweet as they may be it’s a poor substitute for time spent together…

Joe

An Excerpt – Peakeville – Laurie

…Laurie had taken the second afternoon to visit Jamie’s grave alone, it was bitter cold as the wind whipped off Lake Michigan, but she had a lot tell him. Bundled up in her father-in-law’s parka and wrapped in a blanket she sat by his granite marker, the crossed fire axes a reminder of the selfless man he had been. With her tears freezing to her cheeks, she told him about Peakeville, about their son and how big he was getting. She cried again when she told him how much she missed him, the way he wrapped his arms around her from behind bending to kiss the top of her head, that last dinner they had shared – burgers and cold beers on their tiny back porch. She didn’t blame him anymore for not coming home the next morning – she had come to terms with it. She talked about the future, making a new start, she promised to teach their son what a hero his father had been, but mostly she had come to say goodbye…

Authors Note:  This an excerpt from a chapter in my soon to be published novel… comments and thoughts welcome.